Welcome to Gross-Out 101. Today's topic: What's in your food.
There's more in your ketchup than Red Dye #4 or tomatoes. Read on to find out more.
You notice anything about ketchup? That liquid-y stuff on the top when it sets for a while and the ketchup-y stuff on the bottom. But did you ever wonder why the label is where it is (near the neck of the bottle [glass in most restaurants])? It's because in ketchup, there's stuff like Red Dye #4, tomatoes, and insect eggs. If you remove the label at the top before opening a bottle, you'll notice small dots in the liquid on top. That's no joke. There are bug eggs in ketchup. But when you turn the bottle upside-down, the eggs get mixed in with the thick ketchup, and you never taste them. They don't harm you in any way.
And speaking of tomatoes, leave one out for a couple days. Eventually, fruit flies will appear from near the tomato. Where did they come from? The tomatoes in the field wherever they were harvested had fruit flies on them with eggs laid on them. You can wash and wash and wash them until they're as shiny as a mirror, but the eggs are too small to wash off. They, like everything else in this lesson, don't harm you in any way.
You know those crumbs on the bottom of a cereal box? I know you've eaten some of that at least twice in your lifetime. But what else is in there? Turns out those crumbs are not just crumbs. In there mixed in are grasshopper wings, rat feces, and maybe ant legs. You don't even taste them, and they don't cause harm to your body in any way. Why are they there? Read on.
What is in most cereal? Wheat. Or whatever that stuff is they grow in the field. How do they harvest it? They use a big-ass machine. Near the wheat on the fields, there are flies doing their little sex dance to lay eggs and maybe a rat just getting a meal. When the machine comes near them, they and the wheat get sucked up into the thing and (I think) get cut up just like the wheat. The harvester doesn't go along the fields with a pair of scissors and cut each individual piece of wheat to avoid the other animals. Usually, the wheat is then put into the back of a dump truck. Afterwards, the truck takes it to the plant the cereal is made at and dumps the stuff in there on the ground. It's impossible to get everything out of the wheat, so don't sue General Mills for finding out they have rat shit in their cereal. It's a stupid move.
And haggis... sheep stomach mixed in blood pudding... nasty in taste and stench. Nothing more to day.
That's about it for Gross-Out 101. Now facts about food in the US that aren't from where everyone wants you to think they're from.
Spaghetti is not an Italian food at all. They serve the stuff without sauce. Pizza... Not Italian at all! And French Fries? They aren't French. No wonder they hate the US. Mexican pizza at Taco Bell... it doesn't even look like one from Mexico. Mexican pizza has the dough with sauce on it. That's it. And chimichangas? Not Mexican, and I don't even know what they are. Fortune cookies... whatever dumbass thought of these at Chinese restaurants needs to take a trip to China. They don't even have fortune cookies in China. You think somone from China writes the stuff you see on the piece of paper in the cookie? Look at where it was made in.
The US is the most fucked up country in the world. And the above proves it. Plus, we don't like eating bugs, but we eat cows all the time, which is even more disgusting than eating bugs. The people in India could walk outside, look under a rock, find a scorpion, say "Ooh, look! Lunch!" run inside, and serve it in scorpion pie. And they look at us eating a hamburger (made from the meat of a cow) and say "Eww. That's gross!" And in India, the cow is sacred, so it even offends some.
This is probably more info than you ever wanted to know about, but it's nice to know what's in your food and why the US is completely different than any other country on the planet. Got any other food facts or anything to say about this? Post away.
